Always remember. Always hope.

]]> http://cozyyourhome.com/2011/09/11/september-11/feed/ 0 http://cozyyourhome.com/2011/02/11/dinin/ http://cozyyourhome.com/2011/02/11/dinin/#comments Fri, 11 Feb 2011 21:46:07 +0000 jamie http://cozyyourhome.com/?p=862 Continue reading →]]> In an effort to actually finish a project, I have decided that posting pictures along the way might actually keep me moving forward. Sometimes it’s money or time that stalls my projects, but more often it’s just my own lack of focus and determination. That’s a nice way of saying “I can be lazy.”

I have posted some of these pictures before, so forgive any repetition. Hopefully, from here on out, I’ll be a little better organized (with photos) and focused (not lazy).

The flooring was hired out; everything else will be done “in house,” unless I tell you otherwise.

First, some before:

Former DR Chandelier--Pay no attention to the Christmas decor. It was my attempt to cover as much shiny brass as possible.

New Chandelier. I am much happier. Notice the floor-to-ceiling green walls in the background. Loved the color--just not in this room.

Walls had to be primed. At this point, I still wanted a green--just a lighter, brighter green...And I was considering a board and batten wall treatment like we had done in our bedroom.

I mentioned the idea of board and batten to my husband, who loves doing projects…Well, he loves them when they are finished! I decided to go ahead and decide on a green (no easy task), painting from about five feet off the floor and up. I figured we would get to the woodwork this summer…

Ah…The perfect green (for me!) It is called “Jekyll Crane Cottage Green” by Valspar. And I love it. It took three samples before I got the right one, and honestly, this green is much nicer in person. Notice the lovely fabric? I bought it first. I picked it because of all of the color, the soft floral print, and the linen feel. But, then…Plans change. Later, you will see what I mean.

So, I painted.

I tape because I can not paint a straight edge. And no, I don't drink.

Then, I left town for the weekend to visit my parents. When I came home, my husband who is really wonderful had done this:

Board and batten

OK. He had not painted it. The man does not paint. It’s possibly his greatest fault. It is forgivable, though…Notice the cap rail? It definitely gives a more finished, slightly formal look.

More pictures:

Baseboard detail

The only shocking thing was that the carpet disappeared! Shocking, but totally fine. The carpet was in bad shape, and we had talked about replacing all of the first floor with wood. I just didn’t know we were actually going to do it. But we did. More on that later.

Next installment: How to Make Your Dog a Little Wacky: Install Hardwood Flooring

See ya’!

Happy Groundhog Day!

photo by Digging For Fire

10. Keep a written plan. Maybe a few years ago, I could actually remember something. Not today. So, even if I change my mind (and you can bet that will happen), at least I will know what I thought would look good—back when I wrote down my plan.

9. Sew. Sew. Sew. Pretty self-explanatory.

365 Project | www.thePHOTOblog.ca, Jeff Moss

8. Start with a clean slate room. It is so much more fun to decorate, even a small change, if the room is half-way presentable. If I hang a nice collection of photos in my hallway, but the carpet is still littered with fake pine needles from the Christmas garland that has been put away for weeks, run the vacuum cleaner! Dust the banister! Get the piles of laundry into the laundry room.

7. Sort through the mega-files of photos on my computer and actually print some favorites to go into frames (which still have the fake family picture that came in the frame when I bought it.)

6. Sew. Sew. Sew. (See #9.)

5. Buy and use a Magic 8-Ball. Should I have the cabinets painted rather than replace with new? Are the cabinets nice enough to invest the money in a professional paint job or will that paint job cost half of what new cabinets would cost? Are they worth it? Yeah. Tough ones. I’m beginning to think the Magic 8-Ball would have the answers. It is doubtful.

photo by somegeekintn

4. Sew. Sew. Sew. Sound familiar?

3. Ask friends if I can look inside their kitchen pantries. Photograph good ideas for organization. Steal Implement those ideas in my own kitchen pantry.

2. Paint some furniture. That old oak desk comes to mind. Yeah, it’s oak, but I can’t stand it, so maybe some Painter’s Touch would help it!

1. Actually complete some projects. Break big projects into manageable pieces so that I don’t feel overwhelmed. It will feel nice to check off some items from my written plan of 2010. And 2009.

from Ugly House Photos.com

This photo from Ugly House Photos might have been in our own little condo, but it wasn’t. Still, it looks awfully familiar. They have some other great examples in this article, “Design through the Decades,” on 1980s style.

But now, twenty-five years later, my life is a bit more relaxed. My color preferences have changed, my home is very different, and my tastes have taken a 180. I’m not saying there was a problem with 1985 home style. OK. I might be saying that. But only because I was queen of mauve. And seafoam green. And peach. (I still kind of like peach. The deeper, rusty kind.) My husband made us some bookcases in our 1986 condo. (That was an engineering feat!) And they were painted a very pinky, purpley, mauve.  They looked great. In 1986. So, if anyone should be allowed to criticize the 80s, I am that person.

But time marches on. A person can either continue on down the road or get stuck in the middle of the road. And then get hit by a bus. Yeah, we all know those people. They still wear their Farrah Fawcett hair today! (Again, I can criticize. I had big–very big–hair. In the 80s.)

The epitome of big hair

But I digress.

It seems to me that most people are living a more casual lifestyle than a few years ago. This is evident in almost everything, but particularly in home decorating. I want our home to be warm, inviting, and comfortable; I do not want to rope off the living room. I want it to look put together over time–not perfectly matching and rigidly styled. The 1980s were great. I have some very fond memories of those years. But it is time to move on!

New window treatments can give a room a big update. Look around you. Are you stuck in a past decade? Think about updating with less structure and a more casual look and feel.

If your windows  need to be dragged out of the 1980s, start looking in current magazines or on websites and create a file of things you like. Take a good look at window treatments. Collect pictures that appeal to you. You do not need to use terms like jabot or cornice; simply clip pictures of window treatments that make you feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. Notice how few pouf valences there are in any post-2000 magazine! (If you love the pouf, ignore that comment please.)

Start thinking about change. About updating. About comfortable and relaxed. Think classic. Think casual. Think twenty-first century. You’ll be glad you did.

Next time, I have some pictures to share that show the huge change a new window treatment can make. Not as big as jumping from 1985 style to 2010, but still big.  And the best part is that it is not difficult.

Get ready to feel sympathy…Yesterday, I sustained a caulking injury—actually, two.

The hurt finger. I will spare you the thigh picture.

My index finger has an abrasion from caulk smoothing. (OK. A more skilled caulker probably wouldn’t have to use a finger.) And I have a sore thigh. Yes, just one sore thigh. Go figure. When you see the vertical nature of the project you will get that I did a lot of slow squatting, then back up again. I truly cannot explain why only my right thigh is sore. (OK. A younger caulker probably wouldn’t have a sore thigh, either.)

The scene of the crime. Yes, that's a lot of caulking. All around every one of those rectangles...So, you feel my pain?

These little reminders that we are do-it-yourselfers are not so bad. But there have been some slightly more serious injuries over the years: a shock from an outlet as I used a razor to cut around the opening as water dripped down the new wallpaper I was hanging (yikes); a perfectly round burn on the underside of my forearm from the old Hollywood style light bulb that apparently got really, really hot (this was the same wallpaper project as the little shock treatment; the burn hurt quite a bit, and there is still a perfectly round scar today—almost 20 years later); some smashed fingers; some non-stitch-needing cuts; and one trip to the emergency room for stitches to the eyebrow (an unfortunate shelf-building, drill-butt-to-the-head incident. My husband had the good sense to get the bleeding stopped before calling me. I still had to assume the fainting position just thinking about it. I am a total wimp.)

Once (I am getting woozy as I write this), a neighbor came over wondering if we could watch their kids while his wife drove him to the hospital. His hand had been on the receiving end of a pneumatic nailer. He had somehow removed the nail. (Ugh. Excuse me while I lie down for a moment.)

My point in mentioning these graphic incidences is not to cause swooning or intrigue. (Well, intrigue would mean interest, so I guess that’s ok.) My tales are cautionary. Yes, accidents do happen. But we can do some things to minimize the chances of injury.

1. Think through each step of your project before you begin. Some problems can be completely avoided this way. How are you going to climb the ladder with the 25 pound mirror, hammer, stud finder, and hanger?Maybe two trips?
   
2. Take time to prepare your area. Gather all needed tools and supplies. Be sure the area is cleared of hazards. And for goodness sake, either turn off the electricity or cover the outlets with duct tape. Electricity doesn’t mix with much of anything—especially water.
3. Wear protective eye wear. It isn’t pretty. It’s actually pretty dorky looking, but you sometimes don’t get second chances with your eyes. Now, you probably don’t need protective eye wear for some things. Duh. But if there is sawing, drilling, sanding, metal cutting, etc. involved, put on the lovely goggles. You can thank me later.
4. Take your time. I’m not talking about dragging out the paint-the-kitchen project for a week. I am talking about not trying to get three more boards cut before you have to leave to pick up the carpool when you know you are already late. I haven’t done research on others, but in my own experience, most of my injury-causing mistakes were made when I was doing something in haste.
5. Use common sense. No explanations here. If you don’t have common sense, consider hiring a professional.

Open House by Nicholas_T on flickr...Hope this doesn't remind you of your house. (It is not mine, by the way...Really.)

We spent a little money recently. Actually, for us, it was quite a bit.

We added to our driveway and re-sided the house. These projects also led to some new landscaping (to finish off the driveway extension) and a new front door (still to come…You can’t have a new spruced-up house, all crisp and fresh, and still have the old, sad, gray door. I’m just saying.)

These projects came about after my husband and I saw the problem my parents are having selling their southern Indiana home.

I have learned many wonderful things from them–too numerous to list. But unfortunately, I am seeing first hand, that if you let home projects build up, they become too big, too overwhelming, too expensive to fix. For property to hold its value or, better yet, increase its value, improvements must be made.

So, we started making a list of big projects that needed to be done. The siding and the driveway got top priority. Partly because I was afraid our neighbors would either take up a collection for us or get a petition up to oust us (due to peeling trim) and partly because we suddenly have a fleet of vehicles and don’t want to park on the street. (I know. That’s a little whiny.) Next, is the front door. And somewhere down the list is new windows (ours are pretty bad) and a screened-in porch. And that’s just the exterior list!

Confession:  Our trim work has been peeling for two years. It is easy to put off this kind of project because of cost or because life gets busy. Food and clean laundry take precedence. Now, obviously, peeling trim did not mean total replacement, but it was something we had kicked around for a few years–changing the color and getting rid of all of the dents. The peeling was simply the impetus we needed to bite the bullet.

And though the job wasn’t cheap, we hired a fair and wonderful company in the Cincinnati area (C.K. Siding and Construction). We are very happy we made the decision. The house looks like we care about it! A major face lift. It kind of makes me want to do the windows…But not yet. I’m not totally crazy.

Even if you don’t have the cash right now, make a list. I have several going, but only one for the big, exterior stuff. Prioritize your list, biggest need/desire on top–thinking through each decision. For example, if you need a new roof (a high-priority item), try to think about whether you intend to paint your house, maybe next year. If so, then pick a shingle that will look good with the new, future color. (And pray that it doesn’t look horrible with the current color!)

With a long-term plan in place, decisions become slightly easier. Then, save, save, save. Paying for things as you do them is so much more fun than doing repairs or improvements on credit…Yes, I speak from experience.

Above all, get started on something. Letting maintenance or improvements build until they become emergencies is a bad, bad idea. Life is a bit unpredictable. Suppose a sudden job change requires a move. Houses that have been maintained are much more attractive to buyers than those with the dreaded deferred maintenance. Plus, a cared-for home is a lot more comfortable and enjoyable to you, the current (hopefully, long-term) owner.

Tip: Simple window cleaning will give a cheap, quick lift to your home (while you are saving for that bigger project), so grab the vinegar, warm water, and newspaper and start cleaning. (Or enlist the able-bodied, summer-drained youth in your house to get busy!)

Here are some pictures of our projects in progress. I still need to take some “after shots”–because we really did finish this phase!

New path leading to the new driveway (addition)

New plants for the new area around the new driveway (addition). I got an amazing deal at Lowe's on a very hot 4th of July weekend!

Figuring out where to plant the new stuff...Did I mention what a great deal I got on the plants? Thank you, Lowe's!

Have I mentioned how much I love having two strong teenagers with young backs? This one got everything in the ground, after helping with the fill and the path. Thanks, Max!

My sweet yardman. Never complains about my lists...Well, hardly ever.

Now, the siding. Which, as you know, means we need/want a new front door. Also, the garage door (new last year) needs to be painted a nice Tuscan Clay.

New siding is complete! Antique Wicker with Tuscan Clay trim. We love it!

View from the back yard

The windows are still the old, pretty bad windows, but the new trim made the most of them! Thanks, again, to C.K. Siding and Construction. Chris Koenig did a great job.

Thanks for letting me show and tell! Now, what’s on your list?

I said “Usually.”

Today it is July 1, and it is a glorious 75 degrees. Birds are singing, children playing, and the foliage is still lush and green. The dry spell will come, but not today!

I’ve been in my own dry spell of sorts. Little writing, even less home tending. But now, I’m setting some goals and getting the watering can ready. Recently, my husband and I decided to do a little home improvement (or at least, hire it out.) This decision came to us as we learned a lesson from watching my sweet parents. (More on that at another time.) The lesson is the importance of maintaining and making reasonable improvements to your home.

I am ending my dry spell and doing some watering. Eventually, things will grow. These photos show a bit of what we have bitten off…More to follow!

Bigger, better driveway

Lily performing driveway inspection (See another project looming in the background. Landscaping.)

Out with the old siding, in with the new...Can't wait to show you the finished project! Of course, we now MUST have a new front door...

And now, just because she’s cute and has been a big girl through all of the commotion…

Lillums

What projects are you doing this summer? Everything counts!

I remember when they were little (four and five), and I would sometimes make a little happy face out of lunch–you know, carrot stick eyebrows, PB&J sandwich triangles for eyes and nose, banana for a smiley, and pretzels for hair. It was pretty darned cute! And very appropriate for a mom to do when her children are four and five.

But trust me when I say, eventually and gradually, this treatment has to stop. Otherwise, the seventeen-year-old will starve to death because he has never had to make his own PB&J. He doesn’t even know where you keep the bread!

I have enjoyed being the nurturing, attentive mom. It has always made me feel good to feed and water my own little people, and to keep them in clean clothes.

But now, they are not so little.

Big Boy Shoes

Lots of Big Girl Shoes

Somehow, they both learned to be very responsible at life away from home. Since they were about in 4th grade, I haven’t had to hover over them to complete homework, to finish projects, and to turn in assignments. They learned to write stuff on my calendar and to give me permission slips to sign. And one of them will actually make herself some dinner, if absolutely necessary.

These are great things, and honestly, I am one proud mom. But I still have work to do. On me. I still have some control that I need to hand over. To them.

If children are to become independent adults, we have to relinquish our duties and be sure they are capable of taking care of themselves. I’m not talking cold turkey here, and I’m not talking about nine-year-olds making dinner and cleaning the kitchen…But they should be loading the dishwasher occasionally. Think age-appropriate chores.

This process of teaching independence is gradual and can really make the mother inside of us feel conflicted. Moms (and Dads) take care of their children. So, how can I not make my twelve-year-old breakfast and lunch every day? Why shouldn’t I clean his room for him? He’s just a kid. Right?

Yes. And no.

Kid, for now. But constantly changing and constantly growing up.

We start by teaching–which includes helping when they need it. Over the course of a few years, they eventually learn to make an egg sandwich and to cut grass. And I certainly pray they will learn to clean the toilet! This process will sometimes be painful–both for them and us. And we will backslide sometimes…I admit that I will make my teenagers lunch occasionally this summer, maybe out of a little mama guilt or maybe just because I want to.

But this summer I do have a plan, and it’s big. I am turning loose of laundry. There. I said it in black and white. First, I will show them. Then, I will write directions and tape them to the laundry room cabinet door. Then, I will put down the basket and walk away.

Piles of Sorted, Stinky Laundry

Will I feel guilty? Most likely–on some days. But it is time to be sure they are getting ready for life. On their own own, without a hovering, over-achieving, well-intentioned, spoiling mama. Because I want what is best for them. I want them to have the confidence they need to know they can handle life, and I want them to feel the pride that comes from that confidence. If I continue over-achieving, I will be taking away that opportunity.

Part of me might feel a little bad about getting them ready for life, but part of me will smile. Especially when I watch them scrub their own toilet.

The Bottomless Laundry Pit--The Birthplace of Independence

(Not sure why my caption isn’t showing, but photo credit goes to flattop341 at Flickr.com.)

I’ve been feeling a bit uninspired lately.

Projects, cleaning, everything I need to do just hasn’t seemed all that…well…interesting. What gives? I’ve been thinking about what some of the reasons for this bad attitude might be. I’m hoping that writing about it will make it go away.

This is the longest we have ever lived in a house, and it is no fun to re-do the old.

In twelve years of marriage, we moved five times. From condo to new house to really old house to new house to beautiful new-ish house to this house. There was always something new to plan for and to paint. Now, after living in one house for 10 years, everything just seems a little boring. (Not talking people, here. Only the house!) We need to re-paint, re-carpet, add hardwood, re-do, and just generally make something new out of something that is really lived-in. It’s a little overwhelming. It’s also difficult to imagine possibilities after having some things the same way for this long.

Life is busy.

This is not exactly news to anyone. Whether you are married or single or have children or not, life gets filled with carpooling, school, work, church, volunteering, cooking, reading, sewing, learning new things–you get the idea. It’s difficult to think about painting that ceiling after a long day doing other stuff. And the thought of undertaking a big project is way too enormous to try to fit into this busy schedule!

Money is tight.

Have you ever thought about how nice it would be to do a house project without giving a single whoop-ti-do about money? I have. In my heart, I know that money does not buy one ounce of happiness. I see too many people around me who seem to have the dough but are really pretty miserable. Still, I can’t help but think how fun it would be to redecorate a bathroom or living room without even considering cost. Wouldn’t it be amazing to pick the flooring you want without having to price shop and try to figure out if you and your spouse could suffer through sore knees, but just buy it and schedule the installation? Hey, I can dream, can’t I?

I don’t know where to start.

Recently, my parents moved from what was once a beautiful home to a beautiful, much-smaller-but-safer-and-easier condo. My siblings and I have cleaned out the old house and got it ready for sale. We knew there were some problems. The reality of the problems became evident as the prospective buyers came through the house. There were too many projects that the house needed. Deferred maintenance really came back to bite my truly wonderful parents. Instead of doing a little bit along the way, they just kind of let it all build up. They got tired and busy and found other things (children and grand children) to spend their money on. Then, when they had time and money (a little bit, anyway), it was overwhelming for them to start. So, they didn’t!

One thing always leads to another.

You know how this works, right? You fix the small hole in the ceiling with spackle, but the spackle is a slightly different color. You do not have any paint left from painting the ceiling five years ago, so you have to go buy two gallons and paint the whole darn thing. The new paint makes the walls seem dingy, but before you can paint the room, what about opening up that doorway a little to add some much needed height and openness? Oh. Then, the carpet either needs to be replaced or you can go ahead and lay the hardwood that would really give you the sense of openness you want…Ugh. It is a never-ending journey.

Sometimes you can’t change your situation. All you can do is change the way you think about it.

Here, we call that an Attitude Adjustment. We also call it a kick in the pants. Our thinking needs to move from victim to victor. From wimpy, whiny poor me to strong, glass-half-full I can. Caution:  Don’t ask your family to help you adjust your attitude. They will be too eager to comply, and you might not like the literal way they interpret things. Don’t even tell them you are changing your thinking. Just do it. (Thank you, Nike.) And do not let any negative talk (from them or you) get into your head. You have the power to do this, and if you are determined, no one can diminish that resolve.

Try spinning the negative reasons above, and see where your attitude ends up!

We have lived here a long time, but I am happy about that. We are building wonderful memories! Plus, now I know to plan on buying a new sump pump in three years because I know when the current one was installed. Knowledge is a good thing.

Life is busy, but it will not always be this way. Find the joy in every stage of life. It is there for the taking. The interesting thing about finding joy is that the more you take (or find), the more you can actually give. It is truly a contagious attitude!

Money is tight. Well, duh. Even if you have a healthy income, you probably still try to find good deals and be a good steward with what you have. Try to see it as a challenge. Homes can be beautiful on a shoestring budget. I once knew a woman who bought practically everything at the flea market or at yard sales.  Her home could have been featured in a magazine! The key is to budget for decorating and save up for the “stuff” you want.

Where to start? There is no easy answer here. Try making a list of what you want to do to your home. Then, prioritize the list. Then, just do something. Anything. It will give you that warm, fuzzy, glowy feeling to get started on something. Don’t forget to put some small items on your list for quick accomplishments! These are Baby Steps in home decorating. Achieving success on a small thing make bigger tasks seem more possible.

One thing leads to another. Again, duh. Suck it up, put on your big-girl panties, and move on. This is life. Your home is real, is biodegradable, and needs a little TLC. Every little thing counts, and you will pick up momentum as you roll along. You have the power to accomplish, to do, to cozy things up. Sometimes you just have to put yourself out there and do it. Oh, and who cares if you have to do things in stages? It will be worth the wait. Trust me.

Consider your pants kicked. Consider your attitude adjusted. Just take the first step. You will be surprised at how far it takes you.

At 20, there was the beige and white striped outfit that I had to have (coincidentally-not identical to one a friend owned.) It looked great on the friend, but on me? Not so much. Plus, I never could wear it around her or anyone who might bump into her. Copy cat style is not a good idea.

Then, there was the ugly old car that I felt pressured to buy but hated from the start. It was big and ugly and didn’t have air conditioning [gasp]. My parents knew it was a bad idea, but I ended up with it anyway. (That was the year I apparently had no backbone and wasn’t smart enough to listen to my parents…Uhg. My early twenties were not my finest 1/2 decade.)

Of course, there were lots of uncomfortable shoes that I desperately needed, projects that would relax me or make me extra money that were never completed, the high-style-low-quality couch that is very uncomfortable and always rumpled-looking, and a whole host of other stuff that prove I have wasted some money in my day. Sheesh. I would hate to see the total on that!

Now, I am trying to be a little smarter with money. Note:  I said trying, so I still make mistakes. (Don’t get me started on the dryer that I wish would just die, already.)

Wanting to focus on the positive side of buying, I came up with a little list of things that are well-worth the money. Some might seem trivial; none are necessities. But these are some things I think was money well spent:  (It occurs to me that our dog is expensive.)

• Sealants on kids’ teeth. Not sure of the up front cost, but both kids have healthy, beautiful teeth!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   
  
• Dog grooming. Around $50 every 3 months. This might seem frivolous, but the hair was driving me crazy! I lasted for 8 years…I am thinking of learning to do this on my own. Just thinking. Now, if I could just shave the people who live with me, my hair problems would be solved!
  

  Lily after grooming...Ok. The bows might be a bit much...

• Anal gland expression by the vet. $24 every 6-8 weeks. The vet offered to teach me how to do this. I declined. This is perhaps the best $24 ever spent.
  

  You'd look like this, too, if you needed your anal glands expressed.

• Generic clip-on sunglasses. $13. I just bought these today upon the suggestion of a friend. I can’t believe the difference–or that I hadn’t thought of buying these before! Thanks to my friend Cathy, I no longer keep vampire hours.
  
• Hubby’s Jeep. My hubby works hard and has always had practical, “family” cars. This purchase was pretty big ticket (though he got an awesome deal.) The reason it was money well-spent is the feeling it gives him when he is in in with the top down! Total relaxation and decompression. Definitely worth the cash.
• Quicken. Yeah, I’m talking software. This check-keeping, account-balancing, downloading program has made my life so much easier. I always know how much money we have (well, almost) and can download transactions with the push of a button. Balanced finances make me smile.
  

  Quicken

I am sure to think of other personal best buys, but these were some that came to me instantly. Any money well-spent in your life?

Happy Friday! Enjoy your coffee.